his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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