Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize