..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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