Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
