Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
