apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
