Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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