He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
