But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
