dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
