I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
