the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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