absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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