I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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