her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
