Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
