The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
