Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
