we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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