if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize