So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
