I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
