as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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