? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
