Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
