Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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