Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
