you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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