She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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