Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
