the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
