Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
