honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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