Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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