I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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