Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
