Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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