How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
