i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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