Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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