Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
