Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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