Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
