the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize