I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
