I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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