I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
