I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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