My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
