this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I had to cum in my sink.
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