they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
