This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
