Non-Jews are for practice
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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