It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it's like heaven, but drunker
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
