if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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