I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize