he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
