I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
